Well, actually, I just need a fresh start, period. I haven't been journal-ing anywhere for a long time, and this seemed like a good place to start up again.
I recently had a conversation with my good friend, Matt, who's studying at NYU. I've been itching to go somewhere new and different and stimulating. Seattle just isn't tickling my fancy as much as it was when I didn't actually live here. And I figure if any city can beat this one, New York has to.
So I asked him about moving there, and how difficult it would be, and he told me not to come without a specific career-oriented goal in mind, because if I went there without a purpose, I would get sucked in and never grow or leave. Career? I'm nowhere near ready to settle myself into a career. Job? I've got that. Good ol' Pagliacci Pizza. Keeping me warm and fed since September.
"But why are you still in the pizza business, when your mind could be put to much better use elsewhere?"
Well, he's got a point. As good as it is to have something solid to sustain me, I should at least be spending my free time trying to get myself somewhere better. I think I've accepted the Pizza Destiny, which has become a joke between me and my friends, more than I realized. Now that I'm not in school, I'm spending my time away from work just watching TV or reading blogs on my computer. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that it was an accomplishment to get myself back into reading in bed. And I'm not even reading new books! I'm just re-reading the Harry Potter series (which is still fantastic) for the umpteenth time! My lifestyle is worse than those of my pot-smoking, hipster, college-drop-out coworkers! I don't even hang out with friends! There's something wrong here, and it took a conversation with a friend on the other side of the country for me to realize just how bad it is.
Thank god I was on a crowded bus when I was talking to Matt, or I might have had a complete emotional breakdown.
So since that phone call, I've been trying to get myself to do things other than work and sleep and watch late-night television. I just started writing in a new journal yesterday. And before the end of the week, I want to get up to the Kennely Keys that's going out of business, to check out their keyboards and see if I can score a good deal on one. Hopefully I'll be looking more like this soon:
Watching Him Do What He Does by The Pioneer Woman
46 minutes ago